Hi Tech- Low expectations...

So, here I am stuck on hold waiting for tech support... again.  It's my own fault.  I yelled at the woman's voice on the automated phone service- demanding person... Person!... PERSON!!!
So now, I'm listening to elevator music.
 
A couple of hours ago my e-mail service stopped working.  When I tried to restart it a very helpful box appeared promising to run me through the self-repair service.  When that didn't work a new box asked me to sign in with my password.  The repair system claims (incorectly) that my password is incorrect.
  
So, it's been five minutes on hold.  While I'm waiting I started fiddling around with some incomprehensible (Japanese?) comments that keep getting posted to my blog.  Surprise- they link to real PERSON'S!!  The comments lead back to Japanese phone sex web pages.  If I call I can talk to a LIVE PERSON!!  Very tempting but I'm now on hold for 10 minutes and I don't want to lose my place in the (HELP!) Line queue.
More elevator music.
Really not good elevator music.  Rock music that sounds like remixes of really bad songs...

I wonder what all the girls at the Japanese Chat Line are doing?
Hello.  A real person.  He's with the phone repair people.  Must... transfer... to... internet.... sector.


Yeaaa! I'm back on the automated phone line.
Customers on 2nd Avenue in Manhattan are having trouble accessing the internet.
Thanks for that.

"Do you have DSL, Broadband, or some other service?"
"Press 1 to speak to a representative."
"Your call is important to us.  Your approximate wait time is less than five minutes."
Yeah, I'll bet.


More bad elevator music.  Sounds like the Pointer sisters gargling river rocks.
Wait.  I hear something.  It's a person!  A person who's first language is not English.

Her: "I need you to tell me goodly about your address?"
Me  "You want me to tell you where I live?"
Her  "Yes, that would for maybe be agreeable."
Me:  "sigh..."

After several attempts I am able to crack the code.   The servers are broken and could "maybe absolutely be back on working order" by midnight.


Me: "Can I get a partial refund since this kind of thing seems to happen a lot?"
Her: "Yes, this is effecting many customers."
Me:  "Money.  I want money."
Her:  "Right now it's 10:00am."
Me:  "Yes but you live in Bangkok."

After several more minutes of verbal non- communication I am victorious!  I am awarded an $8.00 credit!    I sure hope that's in dollars.  So by midnight you might be able to e-mail me, but I may be busy.  I think $8.00 is enough to call Japan....

Check out my LinkedIn profile: http://www.linkedin.com/in/stevebauermedia

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