Film at 11:00

      If you're like me you hate cable TV.  It's gotten too &%$&&%@@$ expensive!  And the bleeping service stinks!  Good luck trying to get someone in customer service to help you out.  That's why I pulled the plug and switched to satellite television.  What a difference!

     I'm now paying even MORE money for the same lousy service.  And now, when it snows, rains, or the wind blows- some channels won't come in at all.   My TV screen looks like a Jackson Pollock painting.  I won't name names because I don't want to get sued.  But my satellite TV provider is NOT Dish TV.  You figure it out.
     About the only reason I even have TV is so I can watch sports- especially the Yankees.  Over the winter I added the YES network- which costs an extra $10 a month.  I couldn't wait for spring training.  But on opening day I find out that Yankees games on YES are blacked out in my area.  That's right.  Yankees games are not shown on the YANKEES Entertainment and Sports network.  I live 250 miles from the Bronx and the games are blacked out.  Needless to say, I canceled YES.
    A couple of months ago, in a fit of maniacal idiocy,  I talked my mother into getting the same kind of satellite TV service.  Shortly after the satellite dish was installed on her roof- it came loose- and still tethered to the cable- blasted through a bay window in her rec room.  The satellite TV people came by, inspected the damage and said they would pay for it.  Later we got a letter that Mom had to sign.  It also had to be co-signed by two witnesses.  The letter specifically stated that Mom couldn't ever tell anyone about the "settlement".  They broke HER window- then demanded that Mom sign a legal document-promising never to tell anyone about the crappy installation job.  And get this- When I called to complain- they said I'd have to send a formal letter to their legal department. You can't make this stuff up.
    Did I mention that the remote control they gave us is falling apart?  Even though we've only had it since August.  Trina is ready to throw the remote and the satellite dish right through the satellite company's window.
    So tonight was the last straw.  A Yankees game on ESPN was blacked out.  On ESPN.  The whole country gets this game but not me.  I called up the satellite Nazis and spoke to a supervisor.  She told me there was nothing she could do.  I asked about the broken remote control.  The supervisor said she'd gladly replace it- for $15.  I asked about the picture that turns to snow every time it snows.  The supervisor offered to sell me an extended warranty!   I asked how much it would cost to cancel the service.  $280.  Fortunately, I'm a big fan of Jackson Pollock.

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