I can hear the heavy breathing already! Coming to a nudie magazine near you: Playboy's Miss June will be over-exposed in 3-D! We can only hope 3-D refers to this new optical technology and not to the centerfold's bra size. Playboy claims Miss June appears to be 'bursting' off the pages. This is all part of a new marketing strategy that's supposed to boost Playboy's 'circulation'... No doubt, a lot of men will see their blood pressure rising. Hugh Hefner says he's wanted to do this for 50 years. Hard to believe he hasn't done it all by now. I can't help but wonder what effect this will have on teenage boys foraging through their fathers' porno collections. Isn't the sight of scantily-clad 2-D women already enough of a hormone-high for these young visual voyeurs? And here's a frightening 3-D image: all those sex-crazed men wearing dorky 3-D glasses!
When it comes to leaving little to the imagination, you can imagine what's next. Porno movies in 3-D. I predict a rush of XXX remakes- updated porno classics with titles like Debbie Does 3-Dallas, The 3-Devil in Miss Jones, and of course 3-Deep Throat.
And then what? 4-D? 4-double-D? Obviously, sex sells. But when is it too much of a good thing? And will this new 3-D experience raise mens' expectations to impossibly high levels? Will women feel even more 3-Degraded? Will men care? Okay, probably not. But remember guys, PlayGirl is out there somewhere. And the girls just might enjoy seeing jumbo-sized naked men bursting off the page. Think your 3-Dingaling can measure up?
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