Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Reach out and touch someone...


I can hear the heavy breathing already!  Coming to a nudie magazine near you: Playboy's Miss June will be over-exposed in 3-D!  We can only hope 3-D refers to this new optical technology and not to the centerfold's bra size.  Playboy claims Miss June appears to be 'bursting' off the pages.  This is all part of a new marketing strategy that's supposed to boost Playboy's 'circulation'... No doubt, a lot of men will see their blood pressure rising.  Hugh Hefner says he's wanted to do this for 50 years.  Hard to believe he hasn't done it all by now.  I can't help but wonder what effect this will have on teenage boys foraging through their fathers' porno collections.  Isn't the sight of scantily-clad 2-D women already enough of a hormone-high for these young visual voyeurs?  And here's a frightening 3-D image: all those sex-crazed men wearing dorky 3-D glasses!  



When it comes to leaving little to the imagination, you can imagine what's next.  Porno movies in 3-D.  I predict a rush of XXX remakes- updated porno classics with titles like Debbie Does 3-Dallas, The 3-Devil in Miss Jones, and of course 3-Deep Throat.


And then what?  4-D?  4-double-D?  Obviously, sex sells.  But when is it too much of a good thing?  And will this new 3-D experience raise mens' expectations to impossibly high levels?  Will women feel even more 3-Degraded?  Will men care?  Okay, probably not.  But remember guys, PlayGirl is out there somewhere.  And the girls just might enjoy seeing jumbo-sized naked men bursting off the page.  Think your 3-Dingaling can measure up?

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