Wednesday, May 19, 2010

You Want Fries With That? OWWWWW!!





Friday, May 14, 2010

A painful lesson in Product Branding

We'll start with the facts.
A father was arrested for actually "branding" his children.  And it sounds like he didn't have to hogtie the kids the way they do cattle.  According to the Associated Press, a 39-year-old genius dad from Washington state was behind this bizarre family bonding exercise.  And for his efforts genius dad was charged with second-degree assault.  And the punchline, Wait- for- it--   A jury acquitted him!  Badda Boom.

The aforementioned genius father told the jury his kids WANTED to be branded like baby cows.  This included two teenage sons and an 18-year-old daughter.   No charges were filed in connection with the daughter's branding because she's legally old enough to give her consent.

Genius dad testified that he was going through a divorce and wanted to do something to pull the family together.  What, they couldn't get together for pizza night?  Speaking of family- genius dad's ex-wife inspected her branded brood and pronounced herself "horrified".  Makes you wonder why she was getting divorced?


So, what kind of "brand" did they all go for?  A Nike swoosh?  The McDonald's arches? The NBC peacock?  Paris Hilton's phone number?  No.  They all got some kind of family logo burned into their skin.  Why couldn't they just get all liquored up together like other dysfunctional families?

Check out my LinkedIn profile: http://www.linkedin.com/in/stevebauermedia


Copyright 2010
all rights reserved by the author

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Reach out and touch someone...


I can hear the heavy breathing already!  Coming to a nudie magazine near you: Playboy's Miss June will be over-exposed in 3-D!  We can only hope 3-D refers to this new optical technology and not to the centerfold's bra size.  Playboy claims Miss June appears to be 'bursting' off the pages.  This is all part of a new marketing strategy that's supposed to boost Playboy's 'circulation'... No doubt, a lot of men will see their blood pressure rising.  Hugh Hefner says he's wanted to do this for 50 years.  Hard to believe he hasn't done it all by now.  I can't help but wonder what effect this will have on teenage boys foraging through their fathers' porno collections.  Isn't the sight of scantily-clad 2-D women already enough of a hormone-high for these young visual voyeurs?  And here's a frightening 3-D image: all those sex-crazed men wearing dorky 3-D glasses!  



When it comes to leaving little to the imagination, you can imagine what's next.  Porno movies in 3-D.  I predict a rush of XXX remakes- updated porno classics with titles like Debbie Does 3-Dallas, The 3-Devil in Miss Jones, and of course 3-Deep Throat.


And then what?  4-D?  4-double-D?  Obviously, sex sells.  But when is it too much of a good thing?  And will this new 3-D experience raise mens' expectations to impossibly high levels?  Will women feel even more 3-Degraded?  Will men care?  Okay, probably not.  But remember guys, PlayGirl is out there somewhere.  And the girls just might enjoy seeing jumbo-sized naked men bursting off the page.  Think your 3-Dingaling can measure up?

Check out my LinkedIn profile: http://www.linkedin.com/in/stevebauermedia


Copyright 2010
all rights reserved by the author

Friday, May 7, 2010

Lost in Translation???

A great big thank you to everyone who's been kind enough to write to me about this on-and-off-again blog. I was so inspired that I'm dedicating this blog entry to my fans. Those of us who write for a living always appreciate words of encouragement. Especially when it comes from someone who's not our Mom. So, keep those kind comments coming! That said, I'm sometimes left wondering- exactly what kind of "kind" compliments I've been getting. Case in point, my last blog elicited eight comments... not too shabby! And no, modesty does not prevent me from sharing. I list them below in their entirety. I blush at these lavish words of praise.


請吃飯 said...


幽默並不是諷刺,它或許帶有溫和的嘲諷,卻不傷人,它可能是以別人,也可以用自己為對象。........................................
March 4, 2010 4:45 PM
唱歌 said...


hello~來拜訪你囉~部落格很棒^^!..............................
March 22, 2010 3:04 AM
建佑承蘋 said...


080豆豆聊天室avroom080aa片直播尼克成人網性愛小說正妹聯合國交友單身同學會交友覓戀會館sexav999免費影片日本制服美少女寫真集日本制服學生妹日本刺青圖片日本動畫卡通日本動漫卡通h日本十大av女優日本免費AV線上看日本免費試看短片日本免費視訊帳號日本做愛48招視訊 辣妹美女 視訊18 成人色情 網站嘿咻情色 網情色成人 網嘿咻kiss168聊天交友sun city性愛俱樂部影音聊天sex520免費影片成人視訊美女視訊聊天台灣論壇女生遊戲台灣論壇女生免費影片下載區倉井空免費影片性愛文學小說性愛技巧圖解性愛技巧大全性愛技巧寫真性愛技巧教學
April 1, 2010 1:14 AM
林昀睿 said...


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April 9, 2010 8:29 PM
佩昭彥怡 said...


一棵樹除非在春天開了花,否則難望在秋天結果。......................................................
April 19, 2010 2:26 AM
GeraldF_Rotter雅慧 said...


Nice Post~!!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
April 26, 2010 6:38 PM
嘉偉 said...


Well done!........................................
May 2, 2010 2:08 AM
少于毓芝 said...


看看blog調整心情,又要來繼續工作,大家加油........................................
May 7, 2010 12:57 AM


Thank you GeraldF_Rotter雅慧 who said, and I quote, "Nice Post~!!!"


And how about 嘉偉 who positively raved... saying "Well done!".


It's two thumbs up from two of my favorite, although previously unknown, people. It's almost a five-star salute. And I salute you GeraldF_Rotter雅慧 and you too 嘉偉!


But of course, we wordsmiths are nothing if not totally insecure. (and usually downright squirrely) So what do all of these Chinese characters mean?? Are they being nice? Or are they mocking me in Mandarin? Really, what are these people saying? Is it a desperate cry for help? Are downtrodden people crushed by communism uplifted by my whimsical prose? Or maybe, they were just trying to dial up the Fox News Web site, looking for the latest financial news? Until proven otherwise I believe I have found my audience- and they love me- somewhere in Shanghai or perhaps Xian Xi. Whatever.. as Sally Field once famously said, 'You like me. You really like me!' All I can add is... 一棵樹除非在春天開了花,否則難望在秋天結!

Check out my LinkedIn profile: http://www.linkedin.com/in/stevebauermedia


Copyright 2010
all rights reserved by the author