Friday, February 5, 2010

A MAN-cesion & The Obama Bailout Plan

I just visited my twitter page and realized I haven't written anything there in months. I know it's hard to believe that the world's masses aren't clamoring for my every thought. Perhaps, I needed to hook-up with more twitterers to make this experience more interesting?
You may be aware that Twitter provides a limited amount of space to contain your message. For each entry, you're given just 140 characters to express yourself and your important thoughts, and that includes commas, colons, and typos. That last sentence would not fit. So, I guess I'll have to leave out Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious. In the 2nd grade I got extra credit on a spelling test because I could spell that correctly.  45-years later I haven't a clue how it's spelled.
Back to the hunt. I wanted to find luminaries who would unquestionably want to share their innermost -140-character-or-less- thoughts with me. But who would have a Twitter account?

Joe Paterno - no
Brian Williams- no
Ann Curry - yes and she says she's stuck in an elevator! Please someone, for the love of God, get her out of there.
Katie Couric - also yes. And she's asking people to send her questions to ask President Obama before the Super Bowl.

While I was looking at Katie Couric's Twitters, I clicked on a link to an actual Katie Couric story and was I in for a shock. The intrepid CBS News Anchor reports there is a MAN-cession. Think about it. A MAN-cession! According to Couric, so many MEN have lost their jobs, there is now a shortage of eligible MEN. By eligible MEN, Katie means MEN who can afford to take WOMEN out to dinner and actually pay for the meal. In other words, more WOMEN are now working while MEN are at home sitting on the couch, watching Oprah, and scattering Cheetos crumbs on the carpet. As a result, Couric says, MEN have the upper hand and that means more MEN are behaving badly.
I'm not sure I see the cause and effect here. I think we MEN should get credit for behaving badly, long before we all got fired. Full disclosure: That guy on the couch watching Oprah, and getting that grimy orange Cheeto residue on almost everything is me.
But I'm not going to sit here and pout. I'm going to do something about the MAN-cession. I'm going to Twitter back to Katie and tell her to ask President Obama when he's going to take action! I sure hope the leader of the free world gets more than 140 characters to respond. But with AIG and Chevrolet as examples, I'm hoping the President will ask Congress for a new 837 Billion dollar bailout plan. For us MEN! With that kind of support, we could pay for our dinner dates and still have enough left to buy some more Cheetos.

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