Monday, May 23, 2011

Avoiding Armageddon - #Rapture #Fail

     I admit it. I was going to write this last week. But when checking my datebook I noticed "EOW" (End Of World) penciled in  for Saturday. So I decided writing could wait. I mean, there wasn't much sense publishing a blog that no one would see. But the end of time is apparently running late. So I now have time to address the Armageddon issue. From a practical standpoint the Rapture was a total flop- obviously nothing happened. But you have to admit it was a marketing marvel of biblical proportions. Bloggers were blogging about it. The Rapture was all over the news and the internet. It was featured in the Doonesbury comic strip. Everybody was talking about it. But since the world did not actually end I proudly present the Rapture winners and losers.

     Losers: Credibility

     Oh sure, Harold Camping is rolling in cash and now he's internationally-famous. But his credibility has to be the biggest loser. For those of you living under a rock, Camping is the guy who predicted the Rapture-that-never-was. The 89-year-old evangelist is the owner of Christian Family Radio network which is based in Oakland, California. Camping, who used to be a civil engineer, developed his prediction by using information from the bible and some kind of mathematical formula. Apparently there was some fuzzy math involved. Camping, who predicted a similar EOW in 1994, is said to be "flabbergasted" that he and the rest of us are still here.

     Winners: Social Media 

     This was another chance for SM to flex its muscles- and it did. Over the weekend, Twitter's trending topics include #HaroldCamping and #Rapture. The posts using those hashtags were piling up so fast you could hardly see them all. There's even a #Raptureplaylist for EOW music fans. There are also Top Ten Rapture status lists over on Facebook. It seems as if everyone wants to comment on the Rapture. One Facebook friend dryly warned me not to waste my time mowing the lawn on Saturday. Thanks Bill, now it's raining again.

     Losers: Followers of Harold Camping

     Some of Camping's followers quit their jobs, sold their possessions and donated the money to Camping's organization. The cash apparently financed a well-orchestrated media campaign designed to let people know their days were numbered. Now, those true believers have nothing; no money, no jobs and no idea what happens next. As of this writing, Camping hasn't said whether anyone might get some of that money back. Seems to me that his misguided followers deserve a No Rapture Rebate. Sadly, you sometimes get what you pay for..

     Winners: Comedians

     For whatever reason the Rapture hit a  funny bone. David Letterman aired the Top 10 Ways to Make the Apocalypse More Fun. That list included #9) Crazy hats like at the royal wedding and #6) Telecast of the Real Housewives being vaporized. One person posted this snarky tweet, "It's my first rapture and I'm trying to figure out what to wear." And how about this tweet from @mcm_kyle, "Harold Camping spent a lot of (his & others') money to promote rapture, but what makes it worse is that he went all in on Linkedin at $115."

     Losers: Bloggers

     This seems kind of obvious. But now all of us bloggers will have to do the actual hard work of finding other topics to write about.

     Winners: The Truth

      The Rapture had lots of people fessing up to their sins. #endoftheworldconfessions" was a popular stopover on the twittersphere. One woman admitted that she faked it in bed- every time. Ouch! @XJulieeO, tweeted, " I'm the one that took my sisters mascara sorry Amanda!" A thoughtful woman reminded us all that tomorrow is another day, tweeting, 
"Harold Camping, don't worry... it's not the end of the world". 
Get 'em while they last!
Yes, it's Ironic. 
BTW, I've decided to sell custom Tee shirts emblazoned with this inspirational message, "I Survived Armageddon 2011!" You will cherish your Armageddon Tee forever- however long that might be. Order now! This is a limited time offer!

Editor's Postscript:
May 24th

We've now heard an explanation from Mr. Camping. He had predicted that during the Rapture the faithful would be lifted to Heaven- those remaining would face hell on earth until the final day of reckoning. In his new vision, Camping claims the Rapture actually did happen but says it was an "invisible" judgement day. However, the end of the world will occur as scheduled. Camping insists that his prediction is on the money and that the end of humanity is set for October 21, 2011. So, save the date! As far as the followers who donated money (in some cases their life savings) Camping has no intention of giving it back. In his words, "Why would we return it?" since the world is going to end in October. In other words, we still haven't heard the last from Harold Camping.

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1 comment:

  1. What if there was a Rapture and only a few poor, humble, innocent people -- the meek that shall inherit the earth -- were taken up, and the rest of us, including Harold Camping, were left behind? If I was Camping, I'd be nervous.